This book is my attempt, as an Australian GP and a parent, to sit beside you at the kitchen table and say clearly: what you are seeing is real, it is serious, and it is absolutely not your fault.

Eating disorders in children, teenagers and young adults are often misunderstood as a passing stage or an extreme diet. In reality, they are complex medical and mental health conditions that affect the whole person and the whole family. They are rarely just about food or weight. They are about emotion, identity, control, anxiety, trauma, biology, temperament and a culture that talks endlessly about bodies. They can be hidden in plain sight, showing up as “healthy eating,” “fitness,” busyness or perfectionism, while a young person slowly disappears in front of us.

“Not Just a Phase” is written for parents, carers, teachers, coaches, and any young person who is stable enough to read and wants to understand what is happening to them. It draws on years of following families through GP clinics, listening to young people and parents describe their fear, guilt and frustration, and learning from those with lived experience who have found a way through. It also stands on the shoulders of Australian services, guidelines and advocacy, including organisations such as Butterfly Foundation and WA-based care frameworks, which have pushed us to recognise eating disorders earlier and treat them with the same urgency as any serious illness.

The book is divided into clear, readable parts so you can pick it up in the middle of a crisis or on a quieter day when you are ready to learn more.

Part 1, “Understanding Eating Disorders in Young People,” opens with stories from the consulting room and from lived experience. You will meet composite young people from different ages and backgrounds, and their families, at the moment someone finally says “something is wrong.” We look at what an eating disorder actually is and is not; the different shapes it can take, from restrictive eating and over-exercise to bingeing, purging and intense fear of certain foods; and how diagnoses like anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder, ARFID and OSFED fit into the picture. Throughout this part I keep coming back to one message: your child did not choose this, and you did not cause it. Genetics, temperament, brain changes from starvation, anxiety, depression, autism, ADHD and trauma all play a role, alongside powerful social messages about appearance, dieting and “wellness.”

Part 1 also gently introduces how the brain and body change when nutrition is disrupted, why thinking becomes more rigid and anxious, and why arguments about “just eating” usually fail. We explore early warning signs at home, school and in sport: the quiet skipping of meals, new rituals around food, intense exercise, baggy clothing, withdrawal from friends, school avoidance, and the “tip of the iceberg” of disordered eating that often hides deeper distress. You will learn about common personality traits like sensitivity, people pleasing and perfectionism, without turning them into blame. Instead, we focus on how these traits can become strengths in recovery when supported well.

Part 2, “Spotting the Signs and Taking Action,” moves from understanding to doing. Here we slow down and walk through how to trust your instincts, how to raise your concerns with a child or teen, and how to respond when they deny there is a problem or beg you not to “make a fuss.” We unpack the language that helps and the language that harms, including comments about weight, appearance and food that often land more deeply than adults realise. A full chapter is devoted to social media: filters, fitness and diet influencers, comparison culture, and more overt pro–eating disorder spaces. We talk about how to help young people build boundaries and media literacy without shaming them for the online worlds that are such a big part of their social life.

In this part I also explain, from a GP perspective, what a good first assessment can look like, what information is helpful to bring, and why you are never wasting your GP’s time by raising concerns early. We look at common screening questions used in primary care, in plain language, and how tools can support rather than replace a human conversation. We touch on the tricky territory of weight loss medications, including GLP‑1 treatments, and why all weight-focused interventions in young people must sit inside a multidisciplinary, eating-disorder-aware framework to avoid missing or worsening underlying problems.

Part 3, “Treatment, Safety and Recovery,” is practical and hopeful. We go through Australian treatment options in simple terms: family-based approaches that place parents at the centre of re‑establishing regular eating, therapies like CBT and DBT that help young people manage thoughts and emotions, and the role of dietitians, peer workers and school staff in a coordinated team. Rather than overwhelm you with systems, I focus on what families can expect: the feel of appointments, the challenges of resistance and ambivalence, and why a young person may push away the very people trying hardest to help.

Safety is covered clearly but calmly. We talk about medical red flags, including when low weight, rapid weight loss, dehydration, purging or fainting mean urgent assessment; how guidelines such as WAEDOCS help clinicians decide when hospital becomes necessary; and why hospital, while frightening, can sometimes be the step that protects a life and gives the brain a chance to think more clearly again. At the same time, I emphasise that much of the work of recovery can and does happen in the community, with families, schools and primary care clinicians walking alongside a young person step by step.

Recovery is described not as a neat finish line but as a gradual rebuilding of life outside the eating disorder: reconnecting with hobbies, friendships, study, work and the ordinary moments that give a day meaning. I include vignettes that show setbacks, relapses and plateaus, as well as quieter victories, like attending a friend’s birthday, returning to sport in a safer way, or being able to eat a feared food without overwhelming guilt. The focus is on “good enough” recovery, not perfection.

Part 4, “Families, Schools and a Healthier Culture,” zooms out. We look at the impact on siblings and parents, the strain on relationships, and the loneliness that so many carers describe when “every corner of life” feels touched by the illness. I offer ideas for family communication, self care for parents, and how to share responsibility within a household so that one parent does not burn out. We talk about how schools, sporting clubs and workplaces can notice early changes, respond without shame, and create environments that are safer for all bodies, not just for those already in crisis.

A key theme in this final part is prevention and language. Drawing on real examples of how offhand remarks about appearance or dieting can wound, we explore more helpful ways to speak about food, movement and bodies at home and at school. We discuss weight stigma and its impact on access to care, mental health and physical health, and how attempts at “health kicks” or weight loss can unintentionally fuel disordered eating in young people watching closely. Rather than telling parents to be perfect, I invite you to notice patterns, forgive yourself for what you did not know, and make small, sustainable changes from here.

Throughout the book, short case vignettes give the theory a human face. Some mirror the distress described by people who have been told they are “not sick enough” or that they will never fully recover, and the damage those words caused. Others highlight the power of a single trusted professional, a supportive friend, or a parent who quietly holds the line through months of resistance. Taken together, they show that while eating disorders are among the most challenging conditions we face in child and adolescent mental health, they are also survivable, and many young people go on to build rich, meaningful lives.

By the end of “Not Just a Phase,” my hope is that you will feel less alone, more informed, and more confident to take action. You will understand the illness without reducing your child to it. You will know how to use a GP or paediatric appointment well, how to ask questions of a treatment team, how to respond to social media influences, and how to keep showing up even when things feel stuck. Most of all, you will know that early concern is not overreacting, that reaching out for help is an act of courage, and that recovery, while rarely simple, is possible.